December 14 2014

Guilty Pleasures: Christmas Tree Chocolate

Okay Piggies, we know that your edible Christmas tree decorations are wrought from the finest FairTrade, organic, 72% cocoa solids chocolate and made by a local artisan…aren’t they? But we also know that many of us supplement the, erm, tasteful ‘adult’ selection with a hasty purchase from the same street vendor who flogs wafer thin, flimsy wrapping paper at 50p for 12 sheets (well you’ve got to wrap the dog’s pressie up in something, haven’t you?). Those ‘bargain’ tree decorations only really exist to look pretty, but rarely do they even manage that; once free of their garish wrappers, the bloated santas, angels with Ninja Turtle heads and banana republic currency coins are the stuff of nightmares rather than the night before Christmas – and yet, that’s exactly when they’re at their most tempting.

It’s Christmas Eve, and you’re just back from the pub (sorry; midnight mass). What – other than Santa’s mince pie mountain – could be a better accompaniment to the glass of sherry you see before you than those shiny little morsels dangling from the Christmas tree? At that very moment, those cheap, sugar- and fat-laden nasties – barely related to the cocoa bean, let alone the real spirit of Christmas – look even tastier than the locally-sourced venison sausages that are lying in wait in the fridge. Top tip: rip them from the bottom branches only, leave the strings dangling…and blame your misdemeanors on the dog.

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